“Books and all forms of writing have always been objects of terror to those who seek to suppress the truth.” ~ Wole Soyinka.

Growing up in the country in Jamaica, social events revolved around church and school.  Going to market and doing the weekly supermarket run also provided weekly entertainment, an opportunity to stop and gossip while shopping!  But it was the trips to the library that provided worlds to escape into.  Especially during those long summer months when there was no school, no homework, no studying to do.  Sometimes my father would do the library trip, which broadened my horizons as he would make choices that I probably would have overlooked.  His method of seeing if a book was good was to read the first two and last two pages.  Which I would have thought would spoil the book for him! But he was his own man!  There did come a time when we felt we had read all of the books in that little library, but when you’re a fast reader, the second read sometimes brings surprises! How did I miss that?

One of the joys of retired life is having the time to read. Since libraries now carry electronic books, you don’t even have to step out of your door to borrow and return your choices.  And when you also do more road trips than when you were committed to a full-time job, the fact that they are also available in audio form means that you can get your stories on the go!  I recently was reminded of the book ‘The Wide Sargasso Sea’ by Jean Rhys.  I am very familiar with both the title and the name of the author (I believe it was made into a film a long time ago), although I didn’t remember much else about it.  Was it set in Jamaica? 

Unfortunately, it was not available in any form in the library, but I did find an audio version of a book about the author, and decided (despite the fact that I prefer fiction to biographies) to get it.  Hers is a fascinating story, and because she has both Welsh and Caribbean roots, it particularly resonated with me.  Rhys (a variation of her actual name) was born near the end of the 19^th century on the island of Dominica, to a Welsh man (a doctor) and a ‘Creole’ mother – which in her case meant descended from a White family, therefore from the slave owners.  Her father had migrated there shortly after emancipation, and did not follow the social norms of the White class on the island.  He treated both White and Black patients with equal care. At sixteen, Rhys was sent to England where she completed school, and imagined a life as an actress.  Her Caribbean upbringing made her feel like a foreignor, and she never forgot her childhood home, with its wild mountains, and turquoise sea.

Her life was complicated, to say the least.  The only work she could get on the stage was in what was a very questionable field at the time: as a chorus girl.  This led her to a ‘romantic entanglement’ with an aristocratic man, and eventually a bohemian lifestyle in Paris. Her writing, for quite a while unpublished, eventually brought her some limited success, and respect among other writers.  The Wide Sargasso Sea, a very short novel, took her many years to complete.  It was an ambitious concept.  After reading Jane Eyre (another classic that I must have read, but have forgotten most of it) she became fascinated by a character in the book, the ‘mad’ Creole woman, first wife of Mr. Rochester, locked away in an attic.  She decided to write the story of that Creole woman.

When you wish to be a writer, you must read, and she is a fascinating writer indeed.  She didn’t make much money as a writer, in fact, she lived most of her life in a tiny, poorly heated cottage on the South coast of England, and her wrote by hand.  She endlessly edited and rewrote her work, which is why that novel took her years to finally be published.  When you wish to be a writer you must write, but imagine not having the tools of the internet to look things up in an instant, to check your spelling and grammar, to cut, copy, paste or delete with a flick of a key or two.

Jean Rhys was a perfectionist, which I have found is a condition which can lead to paralysis.  Since all of us are perfectly imperfect, or maybe imperfectly perfect, when we agonize over decisions, obsess over details, try to take into account every eventuality, we can waste precious time and energy.  And of course this does not just apply to writing. 

As the daughter of a planner (my father) and a perfectionist (my mother), I often find myself trying to get out of those habits of overthinking and unreasonable expectations.  I have promised myself that next life I will be a ‘go with the flow’ kind of a person, one who takes life as it comes, with an accepting philosophy.  My kids were entertained by a waiter at a Jamaican restaurant we visited many years ago.  Certain items on the menu were not available; there was a limited selection of drinks.  As the waiter genially shrugged his shoulders at each unfortunate denial of my kids’ wishes, he would add ‘A suh it guh’ (that’s how it is).  I was very excited to see that logo on a t-shirt on my last trip to Jamaica, and bought it for the son that has repeated that phrase to me from time to time.

When we obsess on fine details and wish for perfect outcomes, we lose sight of other possibilities, and definitely forget that we only have so much control over things.  Whether life gets interrupted by monstrous events like natural or man-made disasters, or even tiny inconveniences, learning not to overthink things and go with the flow can be very therapeutic.  Even if you have to take a breath and remind yourself of this.

Last weekend brought horrendous news of acts of violence from around the world.  Lives were suddenly ended with no warning for the loved ones.  Plans were upended, dreams were deleted with no possibility of ‘undo’ or ‘rewind’.  In war-torn areas of the world the only existence is the here and now.  Serious reminders that, when it comes to making plans for any events we should do our best and then let go.  And if you are a writer looking to write the perfect novel, you should do the same.

This Friday morning may you love your own perfect imperfections! May you have time to appreciate how the world turns without our help every day, rotating, turning towards or away from the sun.  Mother Nature also does her thing, although our help has mostly resulted in more and more frequent record-breaking events.   And may you finish that task you set yourself years ago.  Don’t overthink it!

Have a wonderful weekend, Family!

One Love!

Namaste.