“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy.” ~ Leo Buscaglia.
 

I migrated to the US in 1978, fresh out of nursing school in the UK (land of my birth), after growing up in Jamaica (land of my rebirth).  My boyfriend had moved to Miami, and that was enough encouragement for me to join him here, in the land of plenty.  Miami was an intoxicating place, full of large shiny cars, bright neon lights, palm trees and sunshine.  It was also close to Jamaica, and although the Jamaican stores and restaurants were harder to find at that time, and only a weak AM radio station played Caribbean content full-time, you could always find Jamaicans somewhere, with a story, some advice, and some good food to remind you of home.

After meeting a friend of a friend, I found out how to apply to sit for my nursing license, how to get a job as a Nursing Assistant until I passed the ‘Boards’, and was provisionally offered a job at a hospital on Miami Beach.  But in the meantime I had to sit the exam, which meant studying again (I was already a State Registered Nurse in the UK) but US drugs had different names, the exams were multiple choice (not the essays I was used to), and it seemed a daunting task.  At one point, I may have been in tears, I was ready to give up.  ‘I thought you had stick-to-it-iveness!’ scolded my boyfriend.  His tough love reminded me of my Jamaican high school motto ‘Persevere and Excel’ (though in Latin, of course!), and I girded up my loins and kept going.

It was also at that time that I voiced my fears, my worries, my concerns about something that was troubling me.  ‘But what if…’ was a common start to my conversations with my boyfriend.  He surprised me with some advice that echoes the quote above.  What if the worst never happens?  You will have wasted all of the days in between worrying about it.  Over time I have used that line to many friends, co-workers and students.  And further expounded on it.  For it may be that the worst will happen, and in that case, you will need all the energy you have to be ready for it.

It has taken many experiences to reinforce the concept of the damage that we can do to ourselves by worrying, by stressing about things over which we have no control.  Our bodies are amazing, ready to respond to all manner of stressors in our environment.  The fight or flight response has been known to strengthen the weak into performing acts of inhuman strength, whether it is to defend against an assailant, or save a child pinned under a car.  That response sends blood racing to the big muscles, to the heart, to the brain, to help you defeat or escape the danger.  But it also puts a strain on those organs and vessels that are coming to your defense.  And over time (especially if compounding preexisting damage) can contribute to cardiovascular disease and high blood pressure. 

The problem with these life-saving measures that your body produces, which are magnified by the wonder hormone Cortisol, is that your body cannot distinguish between the real dangers that exist and those perceived by the mind.  Our mind, and the thoughts it produces, sends the same commands to our autonomic nervous system, to our endocrine system, to our immune system, whether there really is an intruder in the house, or it is the dread of potential wage cuts and the bills that are piling up.

This week I have heard of two people with medical conditions that are potentially worsened by stress, both of whom have multiple reasons to be stressed.  Which reminds me of the time a co-worker of mine was found to have multiple aneurysms in the brain.  Aneurysms (for anyone who doesn’t know) are potential time bombs, bulging walls in blood vessels which get stretched, and under increased pressure can rupture, spilling blood into the enclosed brain cavity, which is never a good thing and can lead to strokes or even death.  So this poor lady underwent brain surgery to ‘wrap’ the aneurysms.  Unfortunately, once inside the brain, the neurosurgeon concluded that the aneurysms were too deep, and attempting to repair them could actually cause brain damage.  Therefore the lady’s brain was ‘closed up’ and she was essentially told to ‘avoid stress’.  Given that she had teenage children and a husband who drank, that was indeed challenging!

It is easy enough to advise people to avoid stress, but stress in today’s world is, one would think, unavoidable! Thankfully we have wiser people to turn to for advice.  Viktor Frankl wrote that when we are unable to change a situation “…we are challenged to change ourselves.”  How we react to life’s stressors is within our power.  Once we understand the mind-body connection, we realize that all health begins with the mind, with our attitude towards life, so then the challenge is, how do we change our habits of a lifetime?

I remember talking with another co-worker, a nurse, who was from India.  She was explaining how she no longer could sleep well at night, now that her children were older.  If they were out, and she heard a siren go by, she would just know that her child was in that ambulance.  She listed all manner of terrible events that she could imagine happening to her children.  I (perhaps not very sympathetically) asked her why she had turned away from her own culture’s practices of yoga, of meditation, of letting go! People in the west go to India to learn a better way of being in the world, they pay big dollars to retreat, to find peace, to learn to control the ‘monkey mind’.  Meanwhile, she has come to the west and left all of that wealth of knowledge behind her.  We laughed together at the irony, and hopefully it helped her to recalibrate her response.

For those with health challenges that are worsened by stress, perhaps healing can begin with the reminder of how much you have already overcome, how many challenges you have already survived.  We humans are far more resilient, far stronger than we realize.  We have immense powers of healing within ourselves, that we rarely tap into.  One of the great mind-body teachers advises us to begin with loving ourselves, and in particular, sending messages of love and gratitude to each cell, organ and system in our body, appreciating all of the ways our body takes care of us every day.  Forgiving ourselves for the times we have taken it for granted, and vowing to do a better job going forward.  To reset the automatic unhealthy responses to life’s challenges, begin with a deep cleansing breath, and an even slower exhalation.  Not only does this trigger the parasympathetic response (the one that counters its excitable fight or flight cousin), it also gives you a moment to rest, to think, to remind yourself that nothing is really in your control, so why worry?

This Friday morning, as we continue to live in a world that increasingly seems to be off balance, we are all challenged to let go and let whoever is in charge of the universe take over.  And yet we can all do something to bring our own lives back into balance.  We can find joy in the simple things of life.  We can continue to care for our fellow human beings, we can show by example that although life is fragile, there is much to find pleasure in.  And who knows, it may never happen!

Have a wonderful weekend, Family!

One Love!

Namaste.