“There is a higher court than courts of justice and that is the court of conscience. It supercedes all other courts.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi.

Early in my marriage, my home was a place where there would be consequential arguments about significant topics like historical and social injustice.  Friends who came over would be engaged in these deep, philosophical conversations whether they liked it or not.  My husband was (and this is not a bad word) ‘woke’, was widely read, and had many questions about why things were the way they were, and what should be done about it.  One of his beliefs was that religion was the root of many of his people’s problems.  Having a belief in a reward in the skies prevented people from fighting more effectively to correct the wrongs down below.  And since childhood, when he had lost his mother at a young age, and seen a brother die because his father visited an obeah man rather than a doctor (following the wrong ‘science’) had him convinced there was no God.

So the arguments were even more intense and interesting when my parents would visit, since my father was a Christian, and a minister (Parson) at that.  These conversations did not bother him, since his faith and belief were unshakeable.  In fact, I think he enjoyed the debate.  My mother, on the other hand, was quite distressed by it all, especially since my husband was an aggressive debater, pointing fingers, scowling, and altogether appearing quite scary.

At some point, when another friend had been ensnared in an endless argument my husband turned to me and asked me what did I think about God. My answer was quite simple, I saw God as the quiet voice of conscience in our head, one that reminded us to be better, to do better. This alarmed him (though he did not say so at the time), for one of his most frequently read books was written by one of his heroes Kwame Nkrumah, and was entitled ‘Consciencism’.  This book, although brief (and I believe was his thesis) was no easy read.  The author draws on philosophy, on dialectical reasoning, on Marxist and Leninist principles in his vision for the future of Africa.  But was I onto something, I who had not even read it?

In time I followed my own path, for the path my husband followed was absolute and lonely.  While he read political and historical tomes, I was reading books I found in the New Age store.  While he read of African Kings and Queens, I explored my Welsh heritage.  While he continued to expound on a purely scientific explanation for life, I was reading about Buddhism and the inexplicable, the connections between us and the divine.  I found the principles of Buddhism to be particularly inspiring; living right with the world and all human beings, rather than adhering to a belief system that somehow was conveniently put aside when the world got in the way.

One of the principles is the belief that suffering comes from attachment: being attached to material things which will be lost or destroyed, to people, who will ultimately die, or to outcomes, wanting things to be other than how they are.  It is the biggest challenge not to want to change people, especially when their ways upset you, or drive you crazy.  It was this recognition that ultimately ended my marriage, once I accepted that I was never going to change my husband into a more acceptable version, one who fit the ideal who lived only in my mind.  My choices were either to accept him the way he was, or end the relationship. 

It works in all manner of relationships, and makes life a touch easier, once you accept that it is not your right or responsibility to expect other people to change for you.  You can explain how their behavior affects you, but after that, don’t be surprised if they go right back to doing things their way.  By the same token, we don’t have to change for other people. We should change because we want to change, we want to grow, we want to live differently.  Change which results from the demands of others is temporary, and may lead to bitterness and resentment.

I have recently found myself wondering about the ability of many Americans to accept misinformation and disinformation, because it fits into a narrative which works for them.  And I try to feel compassion towards those who are ignorant, with no desire to dig for facts, to make up their own minds, to accept reality.  But the people who challenge my acceptance are those in positions of power, who knowingly manipulate the facts in a craven grasp for power.  Surely, if there is any justice at all, a man who for decades has lived a life devoid of conscience, and more recently threatened the democratic process in these United States, should be held accountable.  To watch politicians twisting the facts so heinously is truly abominable, and hopefully they will reap the rewards before too long.

But we can thank he who will not be named for exposing much that has been hidden or papered over in current American society.  We have seen the true colors of many who cannot accept the beauty of the American melting pot; a society which has benefited from the talents and brilliance of people from all corners of the earth, as well as the Native wisdom of the First Nation people who are the true citizens of this amazing piece of land.

We can only hope that people of conscience everywhere will tune out the misinformation and listen instead to their conscience, instead of blindly following this cult of personality. 

This Friday morning, whatever your belief system or your practices, I hope your conscience will help you to be a little kinder.  My mother, a woman who could be quite brutal in her assessment of others, had handwritten reminders to be better posted above her desk. One of her favorites reminded her to ‘…be a little kinder, let me be a little blinder, to the faults of those around me…’  words we can all live by. 

Have a wonderful weekend, Family! (And we are all family)

One Love!

Namaste.