“There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.” ~ Edith Wharton.

One of the most annoying things we ask children is ‘What do you want to be when you grow up.’  I was reminded of that in a conversation with a four-year-old who, without being asked, stated plaintively: ‘I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.’ As if she had to come up with her life plan right away, and had fallen short.  I was very fortunate in that, as long as I can remember, I had always wanted to be a nurse.  One of my dress-up costumes was a cape, a hat and an apron.  I had an old book of my mother’s, probably a Red Cross book of first aid, and some bandages, and I was ready!

With as many options of careers as have opened up to us, especially to women, it is no wonder it must be hard to settle on one choice.  Although with the explosion of artificial intelligence, we are yet to understand how that will impact future careers.  It is also scary, wondering what the possible complications are.  We love to use the Google to answer our random questions regarding health questions, but are we ready for a computer that spits out diagnoses and prescriptions?  Some people are already developing meaningful relationships with artificial therapists who are programed with empathy and therapeutic responses!

It is a time of year when we are forced to think about new beginnings.  A new year brings the opportunity to reset, reboot, and emerge from the Holiday Season with resolutions to be a better person.  Having had a birthday recently, I have a new age, even a new decade to make me reflect on who I am, and how I want to be remembered.  My birthday falls on the day in Kwanza that celebrates ‘Purpose’, a word that we have imbued with particular meaning.  What is your life’s purpose?  Even a more scary question than the one we pose to children.  Have you found your purpose? 

It may be that we put too much pressure on ourselves, and perhaps it comes from our ego, wanting to be known for doing something big and meaningful with, as the poet Mary Oliver calls it, our ‘…one wild and precious life’.  We are fortunate to be inspired by those of our generation who lived exceptional lives, sometimes putting their own safety on the line.  Great men like Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and others.  In prior generations we have the example of Harriet Tubman risking life and freedom over and over again to lead the formerly enslaved away from slavery, and then working as a nurse, scout and spy for Union Troops in the Civil War!

My social media algorithm keeps me enticed with stories of amazing people, mostly women of all races, who lived exceptional lives.  Being a cynic and distrustful of such stories, I usually do a search to see if the story is found elsewhere, in more reliable forums.  But the stories that have been speaking to me recently are the ones of people who did amazing things, discovered biological truths that impacted health and safety, and yet did not receive recognition in their own lifetime.  Authors, whose books were not celebrated as classics until long after they died.  Scientists, whose work was credited to others (usually male) and their role not uncovered until long after their death.

What must that feel like?  To die not getting recognition for your significant contribution to the understanding of the role of viruses (virii?) in the spread of diseases, or other such discoveries?  In a world that celebrates even minor accomplishments with ceremonies and awards, how would you feel if your life’s work was ignored?  How would you stay motivated, to continue to research and develop, when the scientific community refused to believe your findings?

As a retired teacher (of nursing students) I would often receive cards or gifts from appreciative students.  But the greatest gift was an unexpected message from someone who passed on a message of gratitude long after the exams were over and the ceremonies ended.  A remembered word of encouragement, or a ‘nursing pearl’ that came in handy in a critical moment, the knowledge that something you said had resonated, those are the moments that bring happiness to the heart of a teacher.  Of course it can be a little surprising to find which of your many wise teachings are remembered! But, and here goes the ego again, it is good to feel that you have had an impact which may spread far beyond your immediate zone of contact.

But is it crucial to find your purpose?  In a world which seems increasingly cruel and arbitrary, perhaps it is enough to be decent human beings who treat each other, and the planet on which we live, with respect and dignity.  To be compassionate and show empathy.  To spare a moment listening to the story of someone who is not like us.  To stand up for truth, for justice, for fairness.  To amplify a message, if we cannot be the originator of a unique message.  These are not nothing, these are actions that can ease the burden of our fellow-man.

In the post-Melissa struggles of Jamaicans, I heard a story of hope.  I was told of a young child (less than three years old) who, although not personally impacted by the storm, had seen the images on TV.  She asked her mother ‘What about the children?  What happened to their toys?’.  Her mother, seeing her daughter’s distress, was motivated to start a toy drive and obtained donations and gifts which she and her daughter then distributed to kids in those areas most affected.

In a world dominated by big gestures, by glittery objects, it is easy to forget that small gestures can also have big impact.  We all cannot be discoverer of distant planets, or life-saving cancer cures, but we can, in our small corner, light a candle.  We may not ever be a best-selling author, but perhaps we can tell a story that resonates, that helps another feel less alone.  We may not create a video that goes viral, but perhaps we can raise children who are decent, kind, and caring individuals.  And that is not nothing.

On this first Friday of 2026, may you have enough, and may you be enough.  And if you aren’t the one holding the light, at least be a mirror reflecting that light for others.  Have a wonderful weekend, a healthy and happy year, and may your resolutions last beyond next week!

One Love!

Namaste.