“Not one of us can rest, be happy, be at home, be at peace with ourselves, until we end hatred and division.” ~ John Lewis.

One of the most important things we teach our children, in almost every culture that I know of, is to be polite, to have manners.  Even before kids learn their ‘ABCs’, they are reminded to say ‘please’, ‘thank you’.  Perhaps that is why, as I have noticed recently, that even as dementia robs people of their memories, even when they don’t recognize their siblings, or closest friends, they still demonstrate civility, and in the case of men, they still open car doors, or let the ladies go first.

When you grow up in the church as the child of a minister, it is even more important to ‘remember your manners’.  You learn to sit still for long sermons, unable to fidget or whisper (your mother’s look is a strong deterrent!).  It comes in handy later in life when having to sit through ceremonies that may go on longer than you would like! But the concept of being aware that you are a guest in someone’s home serves you well in general.

As a nursing instructor we had to instill that concept in our students, whenever we visited a clinical site.  In Florida there is a lot of competition for places where students are welcomed, and so we might not always get the most ‘interesting’ locations.  But we had to remind our students that experience can be gained from a variety of situations, and that always, we must keep in mind that we are guests of the facility.

After our recent trip to Jamaica, I must confess to being a little concerned about our reentry into the United States.  I should have had nothing to worry about, however there have been enough reports of strange encounters, disturbing interrogations, and even people who are in the country legally being detained on one pretext or another.  In the current climate we have to keep in mind that regardless of legal status, we are guests in this country, and subject to the whims of the officer at the desk, guided by the policies of those in charge.

I was reminded of the story I used to tell about my mother.  I remember one night in particular when my father was late coming back from some evening event up in the higher hills of Clarendon.  Upon his eventual return she proudly told him all the things she had not let herself worry about.  She did not let herself think that he had a flat tire and was stuck at the side of a country road in the dark.  She would not let herself think that he had been in an accident.  The list of all the things she had not let herself think about was endless!  Inside I laughed – it was a bit like not thinking about a pink elephant.  Try it!  Years later I told her of this story, confessing that I had joked about it many times.  At the end of my retelling of all the things she wouldn’t let herself think, rather than being upset with me, she proudly declared: ‘And I didn’t!’

Prior to my return journey I recalled all of the advice I had read online.  Carry a burner phone with no apps on it.  Delete all of your social media.  Remove your facial recognition access from your phone.  Should I do any or all of these things?  What about all of the blogs and Substack writers that I follow?  The groups I have joined on Facebook that are a bit, can I say it, defiant?  In my mind I was wavering back and forth, after all, regardless of anything else, my skin color grants me that ultimate protection.  As seen by the welcome given to White South Africans versus the rest of the non-white world.

In the end the encounter with DHS was perfectly peaceful.  Perhaps mostly due to our investment in the Global Entry access, we were waved over and welcomed very nicely by the man in uniform.  Of course, our luggage required an extra ‘agricultural screening’, we were coming from Jamaica, land of fruit and good food after all! No cause for concern.

But that is not the case for everyone, and for those who are on less solid ground, these times must be very troubling indeed.  For those who have been detained and are being held in subhuman conditions without access to legal assistance, removed from family and friends, these are not hypothetical horrors. 

Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of the death of John Lewis, a civil rights activist, U.S. Representative and non-violent protester.  He coined the phrase ‘good trouble’ to represent the ongoing need to visibly oppose things that we see as wrong in this world.  There were peaceful protests in over 1600 locations across the U.S.A. yesterday, pushing back against the deportations, health cuts, foreign aid cuts and other manifestations of the current policies.  This is one of those times when there are many who would wish to participate who stay home, fearful that their status, their skin color, their accent may expose them to retaliation.

It is certainly interesting to watch those who have believed all that their leader has dished out over the past decade (and long before) struggle to come to terms with the latest dilemma.  What to believe when the one who has convinced you that the ‘deep state’ is actually a cabal of pedophiles is now the one who appears to be involved in the cover-up?  I am reminded of all of those wives who have been cheated on, but have steadfastly refused to believe anything else but that their husband is faithful and true.  When they are finally confronted with too much evidence to be swept away, and their carefully constructed house of cards collapses, all of a sudden they start wondering what other lies have they believed?  I almost feel sorry for them.

These are strange times to be living in.  I cannot imagine what it is like for those who work in government, who have no job security, since at any moment they may be terminated.  My heart goes out to those who are dependent on government programs such as Medicaid or SNAP.  I worry about the future of hospital and nursing home employees (not to mention the patients and residents of nursing homes), when the Medicaid funding is withdrawn.  Then there are the global impacts of the cessation of medication and food programs worldwide.  These are real consequences for human beings. 

On this Friday morning, I hope that we all feel brave enough to speak out where we see injustice; to give good trouble when we can; but to also remember the old Jamaican saying: ‘When your hand is in a lion’s mouth, you have to take time take it out!’ Or the other one reminding us that those in power have the handle, if we try to grab the blade we will need first aid! Let us remember to be kind to each other, for we know not what the other person may be facing.

Have a wonderful weekend, Family!

One Love!

Namaste.