“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds!” ~ Marcus Mosiah Garvey.

Early in my marriage a pattern was set, one which assigned me to the role of mediator, the one who kept her tongue to keep the peace.  It was almost a role of subservience, which is one I disapprove of generally.  I had made sure not to include ‘obey’ in my marriage vows.  Intellectually I was a modern woman, able to do anything I wanted, as capable as a man.  Unfortunately, codependency has a way of taking over your personality, and that was what happened to me.

I remember waking up some years later, and realizing that I had placed myself in a cage, and given away the key.  I had decided to speak up for myself, and began a sentence by saying ‘you wouldn’t let me…’ and his immediate response was: ‘ I wouldn’t let you? When did I stop you? How did I prevent you from doing anything?’ And right there I realized how foolish I was. 

It was over something so simple, the act of reading.  I had always been an avid reader.  Aunts knew that if they couldn’t think of a gift to give me, a ‘book token’ would be perfect, or a book of short stories.  Throughout my school life, even when I was supposed to be studying for exams, I would always have a book to hand, a novel mostly.  My best friend and I exchanged books, Frank Yarborough was one of our favorites.  The year we laid our hands on Transcendental Meditation by Lobsang Rampa changed a lot for us (I believe that one was passed around to the whole of our class!) You could leave your body and travel if you meditated hard enough! What else could we do?

My husband was a serious man, intent on reeducating himself, decolonizing himself, being aware of as much African history, and the thinking of top Pan-African scholars as possible.  Reading fiction was a waste of time.  Serious people had no time for such frippery, which in his mind did not represent the Black experience, or promote Black history in any way.  Therefore, in order to maintain the peace, I stopped reading.  For years.  Until that day that he reminded me that in no way had he physically or practically prevented me from reading.

It is amazing when I think how easily I was dissuaded from being my true self, from speaking my mind openly, and I can’t entirely blame him.  Why didn’t I defend my beliefs?  Why didn’t I stand up for myself? I am sure a therapist could have extracted from me many reasons why this was so, going back to my childhood.  And I am sure we would have had a better marriage, a more equal partnership if I had spoken my mind early and established a different pattern.  By the time I was ready to speak my mind I was also over with the marriage, too many years of tamping down feelings, compressing emotions.  I was ready to move out of the cage without him.

Last week in my blog I wrote about the experience of having a loved one who was incarcerated, and since then I have realized that many of us are imprisoned in different ways.  It may be through the expectations of others; or a mind which sows doubt on everything you try to do.  You may be trapped by physical ill-health, or have mental illness which prevents you from freely doing those things you want to do.  All prisons do not have concrete walls with rolls of barbed wire atop them.  Sometimes it is purely financial, your income does not allow you to visit Machu Pichu, or Alaska, or even Broadway!  But there may be a way to gradually break the ties that bind.

This week I was fascinated to learn of a couple of rebellious groups that existed in Europe many years ago.  The first group that I had to look up (having not heard about them before) were the True Levellers, (also called the Diggers), a group in the 17^th century who declared that land should be taken from the wealthy and given to the poor to cultivate.  At the time food prices were very high, and this group of ‘agrarian communists’ started cultivating! Unfortunately, the landowners were not in favor of this, and very soon the group was disbanded.  As I read about them, I was referred to an earlier sect, the Brethren of Free Spirits, a 13^th century group.  What a beautiful thought, to belong to a group of Free Spirits!

Some of the beliefs of this group of free thinkers were deemed to be heretical, and so of course the Roman Catholic church at the time was not amused.  The Free Spirits believed in ‘autotheism’, the thought that God and the ‘perfected soul’ are one and the same.  They believed that they could communicate directly with God, and so did not need salvation, or Christ, or the church to intercede on their behalf.  They also believed that nothing is a sin, unless it is thought to be so.  They were definitely against the clerics of the time.  You can imagine that these thoughts were seen as quite divisive, but increasing groups began to share these thoughts.  By the 14^th century, people were being executed for heresy, but it is interesting to see that the act of challenging the Roman Catholic church was spreading.

At a time of the year when we celebrate a Christian holiday that was designed to take advantage of pagan beliefs and celebrations, it is interesting to think about human history, and the origin and development of beliefs and traditions.  Once you free yourself from believing without question whether things should be the way they are, it frees you up to imagining new possibilities.  When I stopped seeing myself in a cage, I began to see other ways that I could free myself to be a better role model for my children.  When we refuse to accept the way that society sees us, we are free to become the people we can be. 

This Friday morning, as we wind down to the end of another year, this is as good a time as any to spend time in reflection, to think how are you limiting yourself, how can you be a free spirit?  And if your bonds are physical, mental or emotional, I hope you can find ways to limit their restrictions on your ability to be your best self.  And if you can’t, then read, for there will always be a book that can take you to places you have never been before, to read of lives you can only imagine, of cultures to admire. 

Have a wonderful weekend, Family! And may 2025 bring you and your family health and happiness.

One Love!

Namaste.