“To love yourself right now, just as you are, is to give yourself heaven. Don’t wait until you die. If you wait, you die now. If you love, you live now.” ~ Alan Cohen.

As I wrestled with sleep, a strange memory came to mind.  My mother, like many of her generation, began wearing false teeth at an early age. My father-in-law also had a full set of dentures, which mostly sat beside his bed, scaring my kids when they visited.  My mother, on the other hand, could rarely be caught without hers in place.  His were for special occasions.  Which made me think of the many things we take for granted.   

But there was another piece to the memory, and that was triggered by the phrase: ‘comfortable in her own skin’.  There are people who when you meet them are so at home with themselves, that they apologize for nothing.  You could catch them with their hair a mess, their clothes not matching, yet they exude a sense of well-being and unconcern.  For those of us who overthink occasions, wondering what others will be wearing as we search for an appropriate outfit, it would be inconceivable for us to just show up in whatever.  And yet what freedom lies in that unconcern!

I am fortunate to have such role models in my life, people who are so appreciative of every moment of their day, that they don’t sweat the small stuff.  As I was mulling over my thoughts for this morning, I saw a piece written by another inspiring friend about a performance by a group of young children entitled ‘Love yourself’.  Which made me wonder if this is the key after all.

The truth is that this life is fragile.  Things we take for granted could be gone in an instant.  At this age and stage of life, many of my close friends (and some even younger) have to cope with the pain of joints that impedes their ability to just get up and go.  That makes simple movements (getting dressed, fastening a seat belt) seem like the most exquisite torture.  For some the loss may be external, loss of job, of home, of a loved one, and any of these things may cause emotional and spiritual pain.  So how do we make it through this challenging life?

A couple of longtime reggae classics sprung to mind.  One of them, sung by the Jamaicans to a good rocksteady beat warned: ‘Things you say you love you’re gonna lose’ which may be harsh, but a good reminder of the importance of not taking things for granted.  An earlier ska song, by the one and only Prince Buster, urged everyone to ‘Enjoy yourself, it’s later than you think!’  Which used to be funny when I was in my teens and immortal, but now as the years go rushing by is less so!

Being mindful about the simple blessings of having a working body, with all senses and systems working as they should is one way to start.  And even as senses and systems begin to betray their age or dysfunction, it is important to appreciate them anyway.  This attitude works with relationships also.  We are often prone to see the flaws and faults in others, not expecting them to do the same to us! We can identify each way another could improve but don’t spend enough time giving ourselves the same critique! And most of us are doing the best we can. 

Then there are those of us who are so harsh on ourselves (uncomfortable in our own skin) that instead of seeing our own beauty and ability we see only our shortcomings and mistakes.  I have found that the concept of self-forgiveness is a powerful one, one that then opens up the opportunity for self-love.  My Sister Audrey Peterman has written often about her own epiphany in a National Park up in Maine (if I remember correctly), when she saw such beauty in the natural world that she reflected that if the same Divine being that created such beauty created her, then she also must be beautiful, and ever since then she has been radiating and reflecting beauty and love to everyone and everything in her sphere.  Which if you know her, means the whole universe! 

Most of us are a work in progress, aware of the need to be more mindful, more appreciative, more loving, more comfortable in our own skin.  The challenge is to be able to do that even when life is not perfect, when the people around us don’t cooperate with our Zen-like attitude!  I recently learned a Japanese word: ‘gaman’ (no idea how it is pronounced) which means ‘to bear the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity’.  Which reminds me of another ska song (this time by an American group the Mighty Mighty Bosstones) which addresses how some people are able to cope with tremendous tragedies, ‘I’ve never had to, knock on wood, but I know someone who has, which makes me wonder if I could…’

On this Friday morning, when my thoughts have not been flowing as I would like, I am thankful for all of those things that I take for granted.  I may not be as comfortable in my skin as I would like to be, but am working on it.  I may not be able to radiate as much love and light as I should, but I continue to aspire to do so.  And as I think of my parents I remember the cheeky grace we teased them with ‘Some have meat and have no teeth, some have teeth and have no meat. We have teeth and we have meat so let us eat!’ 

Have a wonderful weekend, Family!

One Love!

Namaste.